Journal #1

I feel like it's important for me to include some journal-y stuff in my blog, just to give you guys a bit more insight into my daily thoughts, feelings, struggles, triumphs and all the other human things going on with me while I do this weight loss thing.

This week I only worked out once, but all of the treadmills were taken at the gym and I did a good 45 minues of yoga, which made me suuuuper sore for days afterwards. My abs are still a bit tender 4 days later, which I guess is a good thing because it tells me I have abs hidden under the flub. haha!

My mood this week has been.....mostly frustrated. 5 days this week, the scale read 100.4kg. I've been doing all of my normal things, it's just one of those weeks where the scale didn't move for a few days. It just happens to be less than half a kilo from that massive goal of double digits and I'm DYING for it to happen. I haven't weighed myself yet today. Please cross all of your crossables for me!

Plans for the weekend are minimal. I'm working on a knitting project that needs to be finished soon, so I'll be doing lots of sitting on my bum. I'm gonna balance that out with a walk/jog later today or tomorrow with the kids on their bikes.
Overall, I'm feeling pretty good. My body is at the point where it doesn't whinge too much if I don't eat everything I crave, or if my intake is just little. It's also at the stage where I'm starting to notice the difference. Little things are massively different, like how my face feels under my fingers when I cleanse, tone and moisturize. I can feel ribs now. I can see my collarbones when I move a certain way. I can feel my hip bones when I'm lying in bed. Other people are starting to comment and ask how much I've lost. It's all kind of amazing.
I'm also starting to see the toll of so many years overweight. The loose skin that I'm beginning to see is kinda scary. My thighs look a little bit like they're melting. It's not cute. I've started to use a firming body lotion, but I realize it's not going to have a miracle effect on the damage I've done to my body. If it helps, I'll let you guys all know which one it is. (It's highly rated and very inexpensive, though. I wanna come to my own conclusion before I make any recommendations.)

I've started feeling.....dare I say it.....sexy sometimes. It's weird. I've always had a freakishly high libido, but for a very, very long time, I haven't felt like I looked good or was sexy to look at or whatever. I still don't think I have a hot body, don't get me wrong. I still leave my underwear on when I undress in front of my boyfriend because my boobs look way better in a bra and my undies are high waisted to cover some of the fat belly.... but for the first time, I'm beginning to feel like the person in her undies in the full length mirror isn't quite so gross to look at. It's a really surreal feeling. One I'm hoping to feel more and more.

Ok, that got deep. It's 10am and I haven't been out of bed yet, so I guess it's time to go weigh in, take a shower and get this day started. Wish me luck for double digits! I've got more informative stuff coming and I'll check in with another journal entry next week.